Tag Archives: charles kuralt

seis de mayo

it was my 40th birthday last month. on the seis de mayo.

a moment before this picture was taken an elderly woman in line behind me said, "smile big, dearie!"

proof

i have been looking forward to turning forty – it seems like a solid age to be. i’ve worked pretty damn hard to make it here, and not everybody is as fortunate as i am. so i’ve been feeling ready to claim a new decade.

i’ve known for a while that i wanted to mark turning forty with a tattoo, and my ideas went through many stages. i wanted to acknowledge my connections to california and oregon. i briefly thought about getting wrist tattoos of their two flags, but oregon’s flag is hideous.

the scale is wrong, the colors are wrong. as much as i love oregon, i do not want this on my body, even temporarily.

the scale is wrong, the colors are wrong. as much as i love oregon, i do not want this on my body, even temporarily.

my neighbor liz and i have talked about reclaiming the trampstamp as a feminist statement. when the wrist tattoo idea was rejected, i started thinking about a trampstamp – all of my tattoos are balanced on my body, and my lower back is the place i have left (since a chest tattoo just isn’t my style) to keep things symmetrical. i thought about getting outlines of oregon and california, but they don’t go in the right direction for that spot. then i started thinking, “what would charles kuralt do?”

kuralty bliss

charles kuralt reminded me of a few things. i thought about how much i enjoyed being in north carolina last spring, it was so different than where i live, and i feel like a better citizen for having spent time there. it occurred to me that i have never really dreamed about going to london or paris or tokyo – i dream about going to detroit. i would love to cruise around the back roads of america in an RV and see the country and talk to regular folks, like charles kuralt did. through all of this thinking, my tattoo idea came to me. i knew right away that it was the perfect thing.

while i was working this out, my buddy zari and i were talking about getting tattooed together on my birthday; our friend molly also wanted to go with us. then z went and moved to baltimore, and my tattoo hopes were dashed. the three of us really needed to do it together, so i thought of the perfect bribe to get zari to come back to oregon for “drink & ink,” as molly christened it.

i have been friends with zari since she was 3, and i met molly a few years later.

i have been friends with zari since she was 3. she introduced me to molly a few years later.

my bribe worked, and zari got plane tickets to come back to oregon. the plan was set.

molly, kriste, zari - at z's college graduation.

molly, kriste, zari – at z’s college graduation.

i was getting oregon’s state motto – “she flies with her own wings” – as part of my tattoo. a few weeks before my birthday, molly asked if it would be ok with me if she also got the motto. tattoo twinsies?! of course. then zari wanted it in her tattoo, which seemed so damn right.

we spent the afternoon of my birthday with denise, who has tattooed me a few times before. i went first, then zari, then molly.

zari's tattoo

zari’s tattoo

zari got the bear from the california flag, along with the oregon state motto, representing her life on the west coast. the top part of the motto is in molly’s writing, and i wrote the bottom part. we had a long philosophical discussion about who should write which part. i think it looks so damn cool, and it’s a huge deal to me that zari is walking around baltimore with my writing on her thigh.

molly and denise, talking tattoos.

molly and denise, talking tattoos.

molly's tattoo

molly’s tattoo

molly got a hummingbird on the inside of her arm. the motto is in her sister’s handwriting.

here comes mine.

think RV

think RV

this tattoo is a mindfulness piece, to make me think about how i spend my forties. if you look closely, you’ll see that oregon is colored in, because on the first day of my forties that’s where i was. i’m going to fill in every state i visit between may 6, 2013 and may 5, 2023. my grandpa lives in oklahoma, and i should go visit him. ditto for my cousin’s dad in mississippi. my mom’s family is from michigan, and i’ve never been there. washington is the first state i’ve been to since my birthday – i took a quick train trip up there to visit robyn. since she was first, she wanted to pick washington’s color, and she chose green. there’s math involved in coloring in a map – the US can be done in four colors, so i know which color oklahoma should be by the time i get there.

the bribe was that if zari came back for my birthday, she would be the one to write the motto. molly drew the compass rose, based on one that was in the floor of a hotel where robyn and i stayed last summer. the envelope in the middle came from molly’s realization that our relationship as adults has been strengthened by the letters we write to each other.

so happy to see molly when she got back from many months in brazil last year.

so happy to see molly when she got back from many months in brazil last year.

while i was getting tattooed, we started trying to name state capitals. z & m started researching state mottos on their phones. denise was getting into the whole US geography thing, too. i’m pretty sure that it was one of the nerdiest tattoo sessions ever.

i feel like i started this decade in a pretty rad way. it was an honor that these fine women were there with me. i really can’t put into words how i feel about them, so here’s a picture that captures it:

the last time the three of us were together - drinking cocktails at terminus last year.

drinking cocktails at terminus last year.

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in the very merry month of may

so here we are on the last day of may. looking back, i’ve had a pretty incredible month. some real sadness (i’m still really not over adam yauch’s death. several friends had bad health news. other friends had some difficult life events.), but all of that puts into perspective how truly fortunate i am.

the month of may began with me in durham, north carolina. i had never spent time in that part of the country before, and i hadn’t seen my hostess, jamie, since soon after we graduated from high school way back when. that added up to a fabulous time and many new experiences – my word for this year.

this was actually on april 30th. cut me some slack, truthniks. it was amazing.

on a sunny day early in may, i took myself out to the ballgame. the durham bulls’ (plural possessive, right?) stadium is a short walk from jamie’s apartment. it was day game on a weekday, which meant that the place was crawling with school groups. i enjoyed not having to supervise anybody – teachers don’t have a lot of fun on field trips.

a perfect day for a baseball game.

that weekend jamie and i went out to the coast to visit my friend meghan. meghan and i were exchange students together in high school. we’ve kept in touch since then, but hadn’t seen each other in person since our senior year.

that’s me in the pink shorts, meghan in the orange shirt.

jamie, kriste, meghan – about to successfully climb the currituck beach lighthouse.

while i was in corolla, i climbed the lighthouse, stood in the atlantic ocean, ate frickles (deep-fried pickle chips), hung out with the locals, bought a few books, watched a snapping turtle lay eggs in meghan’s yard, enjoyed two thunderstorms, and on the morning of my 39th birthday meghan’s sons helped me blow out the candles on my cake.

on my birthday, jamie and i drove back to durham, and she put me on the plane back to oregon the next day. i was sad to leave north carolina, and happy to be home. i like seeing different parts of the country, but i’m really content with where i choose to live.

this is about 40 yards out my back door. i didn’t do anything to the picture – it really is that beautiful.

the day after i got back, i decided to go caneless. i carried my cane all over north carolina, and only really needed it on the beach. for months i’ve only been using it as a way to warn people that they need to be careful around me. when i go caneless, i have to pay a lot more attention to my environment, because my environment is paying less attention to me. i feel like i’m undercover – i think that i look a little drunk the way i wobble around sometimes, but other than that you can’t really tell by looking at me that i’m disabled. i find that drivers don’t wave me through crosswalks as often, but pedestrians ask me for the time and directions more often. i haven’t picked up a cane since that day a few weeks ago. it feels like enormous progress.

going caneless means that today i could do this – walk from my apartment to the riverfront fountain and bring a cup of coffee with me.

i had my birthday dinner with my family when i got back. our tradition is that on your birthday, you chose the restaurant and we all go out to dinner. i chose my old neighbors, murphy’s. it was definitely strange not to have gflo there. but i reminded myself to be greatful for all of the meals at murphy’s that i shared with her.

blast from the past – gflo and my niece jessy at murphy’s

the day before mother’s day, my mom and i went on an outing to sisters – about a 2 hour drive east of corvallis. my mom’s buddy connie met us there. we had a mission, in addition to hanging out together in a great little town. sisters is known for its quilts, and my mom was looking for a cute bag to hold the box of gflo’s remains while she’s “in a better place” – the back of the guest bedroom closet in my parents’ house. when we picked up her remains from the fiendish-sounding neptune society, they were given to us in one of those reusable grocery totes. it didn’t seem right, so for mother’s day my mom wanted to shop with her daughter and her FOLD (friend of longest duration) and find a more suitable bag.

gflo was flashy sometimes, and we found a great bag that seemed like something she’d like and was the right size. we walked around town (all three of us were caneless – that was my outing away from my hometurf) and had lunch at a great cafe with tasty food and an outdoor patio.

a lovely bag for a lovely woman

the next weekend, my mom and i headed up the columbia gorge to visit gflo’s sister dorothy, who lives in walla walla, washington. on the way we happened upon the full sail brewery in hood river. lunch was delicious with a great view. we stopped there on our way back, too.

best quesadilla ever

it was whitman college’s graduation that weekend, so walla walla was jumpin’. after dinner my mom’s cousin bill took me out for a walk to see the campus.

see, i take pictures of things other than food.

the next day we went out to the town of dayton, where bill is a pastor. he and my mom golfed. i hung out with aunt dorothy for a while, then went on a stroll around downtown. i stopped for a latte, and the barista asked me if i wanted to drink it on the rooftop garden. my policy is to always answer in the affirmative when asked that question. and my new canefree existence means that i can walk up stairs (that have a railing) with a cup of coffee in my non-railing hand.

in addition to going caneless, may has brought other physical challenges. i’m taking 2 gentle yoga classes at the yoga center, a block away from my apartment. i had done some yoga before my medical drama, and for years i’ve wanted to take a class at this studio. my parents gave me a gift certificate for christmas, and i decided to hold onto it until i was feeling better (christmas was at the height of my shunt-malfunction/potential surgery uncertainty and discomfort). i still don’t think that i feel as well as i did before things went haywire, but i certainly have improved and felt ready to give the class a try. gentle yoga uses a lot of props – bolsters, blocks, straps – to help folks who might have frustration-level difficulty in a more traditional beginning yoga class. i’ve had class twice a week this spring, and i see so much improvement. it’s encouraging that i’m still recovering, but in more finely-tuned ways. i’m looking forward to the summer session.

the yoga center

this month i also had about 6 pilates sessions. it blew my mind what i could do. it also made me spend a lot of time thinking about my nursing home physical therapist, dennis, who started me on the path to being able to sit up on my own, and anne (my home health therapist when i got back to corvallis from phoenix), who taught me how to crawl and to walk with a walker. and my physical therapist brian, who really taught me how to walk. i remember holding onto the counter in my kitchen, doing the grapevine over and over while i worked on relearning how to transfer weight from one foot to the other. and i remember when i couldn’t be in a room with a ceiling fan, because it would send my vertigo out of control. my pilates teacher, lyssa, had me doing things that kriste2.0 would not believe. progress. even as i near the 3 year anniversary this summer.

about a week ago, i took the train to portland. emily picked me up and zari met us at potato champion for dinner. i’d been eating pb&j sandwiches for days as i waited to get my order of pb&j fries. they didn’t disappoint.

seriously. these are insanely good.

the three of us headed over to the mission theater for a back fence pdx storytelling event. one of the storytellers (cheryl strayed) that night is the author of the book my skype book group just read. i met one of the book clubbers, theresa, for the first time in person that night. after the show, i got to see the house that emily and her husband bought. in fact, i even got to spend the night there. the next morning, i met my friend bucko. he gave me a tour of his new apartment and his new neighborhood. he drove me back to corvallis, so we had lots of time to chat.

the view from bucko’s stoop

this weekend, zari took the bus down from portland. when she got here we immediately went to farmers’ market for zia burritos. we spent lots of time chatting, walking, drinking, cooking, watching queer eye – sometimes several of those things at once. i used to babysit for zari when she was a preschooler, and i’m grateful to have been a part of her life since she was a little kid. and it’s so much fun to get to be adults together.

my mom and i took zari for her first wine tasting experience. my friend marcia did the honors.

one evening i took zari to my current favorite downtown lounge, terminus. we enjoyed some drinks and the folks and the view and the food.

happy hour drinks at terminus

this month i’ve also started to really enjoy baking. i found a great book about cooking small pies in muffin tins. i’ve been making a lot of them – there’s dough in my fridge right now. i’m thinking about either salted caramel apple or lemon meringue this evening.

sweet potato pies – in honor of north carolina

i’ve also watched a lot of queer eye in may. my friend jessica mentioned that it’s on netflix instant, and it’s my current reality tv addiction. i spend a lot of time analyzing which of the fab 5 is my favorite, and what that might mean.

maybe i’ll get a doctorate in studying what is revealed by a person’s favorite queer eye guy, monkee, beatle, beastie boy, etc.

which reminds me. i forgot to mention my big may news – i’ll be starting a master’s degree at osu in the fall! more on that later.

and june isn’t looking too shabby either.